Top 5 _ Websites To Go To When You’re Meant To Be Working

1. http://www.weebls-stuff.com . Go here if you have sound and you can use it. These guys make the most random flash cartoons. From dancing badgers to a mouthful of crabs to hats for clowns.

2. http://www.motifake.com . Home of the Demotivation poster. Totally awesome.

3. http://www.explosm.net . Cyanide And Happiness!

4. http://www.realultimatepower.net . It’s crazy. It’s ninjas. It’s REAL ULTIMATE POWER!!!!

5. http://www.cracked.com . I like to test myself at work and see how much I can read before I succumb to loud outbursts of laughter.

Fathers Day

Fathers Day is approaching and as a father I am slightly peeved. When Mothers day rolls around, there is much trumpeting and fanfare. Sales everywhere, specials on every corner and a general sense of joviality. For Fathers Day socks are slightly cheaper. Okay okay, so mothers do a lot more work, I’ll admit, but really. So far all I’ve seen is an atrocious informercial claming that if you buy your dad one of these products he will be ‘cool’. A waterproof razor? “Now he can shave in the shower!” it proclaims! Stuff that, I once cut myself 32 times just shaving in front of a mirror, you think I’m gonna chance it in the shower? A blanket with sleeves? A bullet to the head rather, please. An energy-saving light bulb?! Oh hosanna, just what I always wanted!

As a child Fathers Day was never much of an event for me. Probably because I never saw my dad. So I never had to worry. And I guess that carried through to the present. But strangely, I’m not alone. It’s not about the meaning anymore. Although, was it ever? You got your dad a present and he was then more inclined to give you money. As a rule, that present was socks.

I’m starting to think that the whole tradition was started because men got all sulky that women had a day and they never (although chauvinists will argue that every day is a man’s day). Scary thing is, I don’t even know the exact date of Fathers Day. Does anyone? Does anyone think “Oh crumbs, it’s Fathers Day soon!” without being prompted by the ol’ idiot box? If it weren’t for commercialism it would slip away. Argue if you will, you know it to be true.

Ah well, it matters not anyway. My daughter is only 2 and a half so it makes no difference to her. She’ll probably choose that day to ignore completely, as she likes to do periodically.

So this Fathers Day, sit back and think about all the things that your father has done for you. He’s done a lot! Well, most fathers. I’m not speaking from experience, just vaguely generalizing. Just ponder what he’s done and be thankful. And choose the socks carefully. A man can have only so many pairs of novelty socks.

I Am A Nerd

It’s true. I am a nerd. A mega-nerd. If this was The Power Rangers this would be the part where the moon witch woman would throw down her staff and shout “Make my monster grow!” and I’d turn into a massive Nerd and take on Megazord. (What was with that?)

Um…yeah…need more proof than that?

* I’m not just a Star Wars fan but I’m one of those fans who debates with other fans.
* I’ve read countless Star Wars books.
* I own a Linux shirt. Which I wear.
* I had a girlfriend tell me “You’re dressed like SUCH a nerd!”
* I work on a PC all day, complaining about how draining it is, then get home and turn on my laptop.
* And play old NES emulator games.
* I played Zelda until 4am for so many consecutive days that I would wake up thinking I could stab people and get blue gems.
* I’ve clocked a Pokémon game.
* I’ve compared my PC specs to someone elses.
* I’m the guy who comes out of Spiderman movies complaining about the inaccuracies.
* I like to watch special editions and try spot the differences.
* I look forward to software updates.
* I love open source software.
* I love anime and collect manga.
* I’ve alphabetised my CD collection and seperated my DVDs by category.
* I once gave a girl my email address in a club.
* I’ve set up my IM to handle several accounts so I can talk to everyone at once.
* I once considered MacGuyvering my mouse by taping a pen to it and offsetting it so that I had a drawing tablet.
* I know my name in Binary.
* I look forward to the results of the Large Hadron Collider and not just to see if the end of the world swings around.
* I’ve looked at something happen and named the scientific principle behind it.
* I believe that the heyday of gaming was the days of the Nintendo Entertainment System.

Rather a nerd than a jock though…

Go read my friend Craig’s opinion on the same matter here

Fatherhood

For everyone who doesn’t know, I’m the daddy of a beautiful little girl named Riley. Yeah, I’m a bit young to be a father, as people say. I turned 21 the month before she was born. As a Canadian said to me “But you’re a kid! A kid having a kid!” In a way I’m glad because it means I’ll be a young father, which is cool, but having a kid is a lot of responsibility. Financially, emotionally, it’s a lot. Her mother does a great of job of raising her when I’m not home. Which unfortunately is quite often due to how I work.

The mother and I aren’t together but we still live together. We broke up sometime ago but had already moved in together. Do we get on? Yeah, 90% of the time. We have our moments. Do I still feel something for her? Of course. I feel a connection to her that I haven’t felt with anyone else. I would never have gone that far otherwise. Does she feel the same way? Doubt it. Otherwise I guess we’d be together.

I’ve always had issues with fathers as my parents got divorced when I was pretty young. I don’t know my dad that much and I’ve always been scared that I would end up the same. I worry that if I moved out I’d never get to see her. I don’t want to be a weekend dad. I don’t want to be the dad who just supplies money. As if I have money, anyway. Have I been a good father? Not as good as I’d like. I hardly got to see Riley in the first few months which I hated. The mother’s friends have told me I’m a bad father, which is just fantastic. I’m trying to be the best dad I can be but being seperated from the mother means things are different. I like to think I’m better now than I was but I have a long way to go. It’s the worst thing in the world being told I’m a bad father. It cuts deeper than any physical pain I’ve ever experienced. It pushes me to be better but surely there are better ways to push?

The toughest thing is that Riley doesn’t understand. I go to kiss her and she tells me to kiss her mommy. Which obviously I can’t do. And she just doesn’t understand. How do you explain that to a little girl? It’s tough.

But when that little girl smiles, the world melts away…

Top 5 _ Love Stories

1. Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind: A beautiful movie examining a concept we’ve all wished for before. It explores different concepts within love, the light and the dark.

2. A Beautiful Mind: Interesting portayal of how other loves can consume your life and overshadow love with another.

3. Love Actually: A good movie showing the intertwining stories of different people. Everyone’s connected somehow. It’s like Fish Hoek.

4. The Royal Tenenbaums/The Life Aquatic: Although all of Wes Andersons movies are great, these two are my pick for their portrayal of family love, however quirky and dysfunctional it may be.

5. Napoleon Dynamite: While not technically a love story, the love subplot made me feel awkward just like I did at school. The dynamics between the characters illustrated the fact that sometimes love manifests itself differently to what we’d expect.

Top 5 _ Bands To Listen To When You’re Depressed (or Cheer Up Kid, It Ain’t That Bad)

Sometimes, when you’re depressed you need songs that make you think ‘At least my life isn’t THAT bad’. These are my choices.

1. Travis. This Scottish quartet sure know how to set the mood. Why does it always rain on me?

2. Interpol. Another quartet, this time from New York, they play like the band closing for The End Of The World. Great stuff. I particularly enjoy ‘There’s No I In Threesome’.

3. Norah Jones. Need I say more? Great for sobering a room full of lively people or ending a party that has gone on way too long.

4. Frank Black And The Catholics. In particular the album ‘Black Letter Days’. Written in response to therapy after a messy breakup it’s no wonder that is a good’un. ‘Winter blows through my coat, it’s chilling my bones, but nothing compares, to your cold heart of stone’.

5. Thrice. The Alchemy Index, Earth. Really sombre heartfelt songs that make you feel like there is hope in any situation.

Scooter

(Typed to the tune of Digital Sea by Thrice)

So I bought a scooter. It was second-hand when I bought it, only 563km on the clock, good condition, for the princely sum of R6000. I  named it THE BLACK BADGER and, over 4000km,  it has since tried to kill me in as many ways as possible…

For those of you not familiar with these death traps let me tell you that they are the most dangerous Asian thing in the world, taking number one spot from Bruce Lee. Sure, I can fill my tank for R17 but I need to hold my dashboard on while I drive and tie my license plate on with string and cable ties. I’ve spent a further R6000 fixing the thing which is just sick. I have to admit at this point that a lot of it comes down to my bad driving. Within 5 minutes of climbing on it for the first time I had already crashed into someone’s flower garden (sorry!). I’ve hit pavements, gates, more pavements, almost a cat, taxis, got struck by a boy on a bicycle (I won), went over the handlebars, stalled HALFWAY THROUGH a busy intersection, locked my brakes going down Ou Kaapse Weg in a thunder strom (okay, that was stupid), almost t-boned an old lady’s car, almost struck several pedestrians, nearly went over the side of a mountain pass in heavy mist, had my scooter slip out from underneath me in wet conditions…the list continues.

But then I had to send it for repairs and had to rely on Metrorail to get to work…I was so happy when they phoned me to come pick the scooter up! It might be a death trap but it’s my death trap.