Zombies

Oh lifeless masses, how I love thee…no, not accountants, zombies. I love zombies. I do. I’m not sure if that counts as necrophilia but if it does, I would like to apologize to any dead people I may’ve offended. Makes me think of a conversation a friend and I had once about how great it would be to have a zombie girlfriend. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a girl after you for your brains? Okay, that IS necrophilia so I’ll stop there. This is a decent blog not a Marilyn Manson video.

Zombies can also provide much needed entertainment were you to find yourself sitting somewhere boring by playing the “Defense Against Zombies” game. Take a look around and ask the question “how would I defend myself with the items present were zombies to attack?” Granted, the game is boring if you work in a gun store but for everyone else it’s a nice bit of escapism. I mean, looking around where I am now I could use the tennis racket, fishing rod, umbrella, collapsible chair, electrical cables, dog, assortment of shoes, flyswatter (?), coffee cup, candlestick holder, hifi, the list goes on…

Of course, our braindead compatriots have inspired countless movies, shows, games and even songs. As Katie Melua sings, “Zombies marching through the mist make me think of being kissed.” Sounds like, apart from being hot, she’s also a clever girl. I have no real proof to back that up so let’s stick with her being hot, oui? On the subject of movies, the best zombie movie I’ve ever seen is, without a doubt, the worlds first Zomedy, Shawn Of The Dead. It’s awesome. It’s like watching an extended version of the Defense Against Zombies game. Simon Pegg is a genius. Of course, Fido is a close second, a heartwarming tale of love between a boy and his zombie. Truly touching. The Notebook also takes a high spot, that movie had some really lifeless acting.

If you haven’t played any of the Resident Evil games you’re doing yourself a disservice. Those are just amazing games, although they’re not JUST about zombies as anyone who’s been chased by a giant crocodile will know. Although I hear the new one has…wait for it…FAST ZOMBIES! WTF?! Zombies are not fast! Dead Rising took zombie-bashing to a whole new level and gave us an amazingly inventive killing game. With slow zombies. Ah familiar. Slicing heads off with CDs? Awesomeness. Not all zombie games hit the mark though, such as Typing Of The Dead, designed to teach Japanese kids how to write English by making a speedtyping/zombie shooting game. Swing and a miss, boys. Plus The Sims, which is a game about zombies, for zombies.

Really, after all of that, how can you not like zombies? Sure, they rip, rend and destroy but deep down they just want to be loved. I think Madonna should adopt a few zombies. She can share them with Katie Melua. Okay, this one is just going downhill now…

To read a better blog about zombies, go read the other half of this blog here

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2 Comments

  1. Ye that fast zombie shit really gets to me, fast camera flashing, hard intense sound affects. it ruins the natural zombie affect. :/

  2. […] myself and zenbadger are having a “same post day“. Where we simply choose a random topic to write about, in […]


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